Fallen
by BluAlbino
Summary: Castiel learns how to knock on doors. It's a bad sign. Dean/Castiel
1. Chapter 1

Dean was woken up by a knock on the door. He glanced over at the other motel bed, Sam was in the room, and his sleep-fuzzy brain was telling him that Bobby was on the other side of the country. So who the hell was knocking? Dean walked over to the door, not hurrying despite the rainstorm outside.

"Cas?" He asked the angel, who was standing outside in the rain. "When did you learn how to knock?" Something was off about Castiel. Instead of staring Dean in the eye like usual, he was staring at his own hands, flexing them back and forth. Dean stared as the normally smooth angel looked slowly up at him in wonder.

"Dean." He said, with little of the normal intensity in his voice.

"Whozzat?" Sammy asked, waking up as the cold air blew into the room.

"Castiel. Are you okay?" Dean said, both to Sam and the angel. Castiel walked into the room, seemingly in shock. Sam closed the door behind him. In the relative dryness of the room, Dean realized that Castiel was wet. Dripping wet. Even though Dean had never seen so much as a speck on his immaculate clothes.

"I'm cold." Cas said. Sam headed to the bathroom and came back with a towel, Dean took it and threw it over Castiel's shoulders. The angel didn't even seem to notice, instead he repeated. "I'm cold."

"That's generally what happens when you stand around in the rain." Dean replied, beginning to worry about Cas' sanity.

"I've never been cold before." Cas said. It hit them then. Sam gasped and Dean's mouth dropped open as they realized what had happened.

"You… you fell?" Sam asked. Castiel, who was staring at his hands again, nodded distractedly. Cas was human. Dean, with nothing to possibly say to that, let his older brother instincts, the ones that had gone dormant around the time Sammy learned to tie his shoes, take over for him. He stepped forward and grabbed the towel from around the ex-angel's shoulders and began to dry off his hair.

As soon as Dean's hands touched him, Castiel stiffened and he gasped, almost like being too close to Dean was causing him pain. Dean dropped the towel and backed away from him.

"What?!" He yelled.

"That was…unexpected." Castiel said. He bent down and picked up the towel, drying his own face.

"Why did you fall?" Sam asked.

"Iofiel. Anna. She made me think about…being human. And all the things I was missing out on." He looked off, like he was remembering one specific accident. "So I just…did it."

"You just, did it?" Dean asked incredulously.

"Yes." Castiel said, a hint of hysterics in his voice and a slight grin on his face. Then, much to his surprise, Cas sneezed.

"Dude," Sam said, "I know that this is your first time being human and all, but if you don't get out of those wet clothes, you're gonna catch a cold." It took Castiel a second, but then he slipped his trench coat off his shoulders. Neither of the brothers moved to help him, remembering the way he reacted when Dean touched his hair. He loosened his tie, and started to pull off his shirt.

"Whoa!" Dean said, stopping him. "Don't strip out here. Go in the bathroom." Castiel had to pause and process this, yet again, but when he got the message he did something else he had never done before. He blushed. Cas shuffled off to the bathroom, leaving his soaking coat on the floor.

"He's closer to your size." Sam said, looking at Dean pointedly. Dean grumbled something under his breath and went off for some dry clothes for the fallen angel to wear. He came up with an old t-shirt and sweatpants. He thought about underwear, but that was a little too weird, so he skipped it. Dean carried the clothes to the bathroom and opened the door just wide enough to slip the clothes in.

"Dean?" Castiel said weakly, his voice muffled by the closing door.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I need help." Castiel said, sounding like he didn't want to admit it. Dean sighed and walked into the bathroom, trying to remind himself that Castiel had probably never gotten dressed before. The older Winchester walked into what might have been a clothing massacre. Castiel had managed to get his shirt off, after removing a few buttons, but the pants were in shreds. The only whole pieces of clothing were the tie, still in a loop, and the boxers that Cas was still wearing. Dean was wondering how his pants had split up the legs like that, but then noticed that Cas was still wearing shoes. Shaking his head, he motioned for Castiel to sit on the edge of the bathtub. The ex-angel sat, Dean knelt down in front of him, and began wrestling with the laces of his shoes, which the rainwater had congealed into a large tangled mess. Once he finally got the clinging shoes off, he stood up and prepared to help with the t-shirt, and his mouth went dry as he finally looked at Castiel.

Dean's eyes traveled, almost against his will, up Castiel's long legs and across his bare chest. The fallen angel stared back at him, starting to blush again. Dean tore his eyes away, swallowing, trying to get back to normal. It didn't work.

"Is something wrong?" Cas said, his eyes more innocent then those of a five year old, making Dean feel like even more of a creep for checking him out.

"No. Fine." Dean shut his eyes and handed Castiel the t-shirt. Cas considered it for a moment, then attempted to pull it over his head, leaving him in a tangled mess and Dean trying not to stare at him. "Here." Dean said, grabbing the edges of the shirt and pulling it down over his head, trying not to notice when his fingers trailed over Castiel's bare skin. Instead of stiffening, Castiel held still for Dean, letting him untangle the piece of clothing. Saying nothing, and not even looking at him, avoiding any chance to stare, and grabbed the soft, worn-in sweatpants. Castiel stuck his feet out in silent cooperation and Dean slipped the sweats over them. Castiel stood and pulled them up, nearly tripping himself by standing on the hems.

"How's that human coordination goin' for ya?" Dean asked, sniggering a bit.

"I'll get used to it." Castiel said, trying for his usual emotionless grace, but falling short. Dean smirked and clapped the other man on the back, trying to put all the earlier weirdness behind them. Castiel seemed all for it, and walked out of the bathroom first, with Dean right behind him. Sam, wisely, didn't comment. Castiel put a hand to his mouth to cover a yawn.

"I'm tired." He said, more to himself then anyone else. Sam and Dean glanced at each other, Sam holding up a fist in the rock-paper-scissors position.

"No way," Dean said, regarding Sam's hand. "You cheat." Dean pulled a coin out of his pocket, flipped it, and caught it one handed.

"Tails." Sam said, rolling his eyes at the idea of cheating at rock-paper-scissors. Dean peeked at the coin in his hand, scowling when he saw it in the heads up position. Sam grinned at him.

"Cas," Dean said, to the angel, who'd been trying to figure out what the brothers were doing. "You can take my bed." Castiel looked like he was going to comment, but he yawned again and laid down with no complaint. The ex-angel was out like a light.

Dean watched him for a few minutes, aware that Sammy was doing the same.

"He's human." Sam said. Dean nodded, his brother seeing out of the corner of his eye. "What now?"

"I don't know."

* * *

**Reviews make me happy ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Yawning and stretching, Castiel woke up on the first full day of his human life. He looked through his heavy eyes at a blurry world and began to understand the phrase 'not a morning person.' He blinked a few times, another thing that was unnecessary when he was an angel, and started to see details again. Sam was in the bed to his right, looking cramped since it was a little too short for him, and Dean was lying in the space between the beds, on what appeared to be Sam's blanket and pillow. Cas grinned as a wave of what must be affection swept through him at seeing the two tough hunters curled up asleep.

GRRRWWWLLL… Castiel looked down when his stomach made a noise, and figured he must be hungry, another first. He was contemplating where he might find food, and realized something else new. His bladder was full, and, better yet, he had no idea how to relieve that particular urge.

Today was shaping up nicely. At least he was getting sarcasm.

* * *

Castiel sat with Dean and Sam in a diner, smelling all the food cooking out of sight. His stomach was rumbling so loud that some of the other customers developed the idea he hadn't eaten in years. Which was technically true, but he hadn't actually needed to until today. He was fidgeting in his chair, a stark contrast to his unnatural stillness from before.

"First thing, we need to get a hold of Bobby." Dean said to Sam, going with the usual plan when things got weird.

"Actually, the first thing we need to do is get him some of his own clothes." Sam said, eyeing Castiel, who was wearing one of his shirts and a pair of Dean's bluejeans. Dean was going to object, but then he remembered Castiel knocking over nearly everything on the table at the motel, including hot coffee, when his balance had suddenly stopped working for him. He nodded.

The waitress arrived at their table carrying steaming plates of food, Castiel's stomach gave a particularly loud growl.

"Hungry, hon?" she asked him, smiling. Cas simply nodded, not taking his eyes off of the biggest omelet she was holding. She set it in front of him, putting smaller ones in front of Sam and Dean. Dean was sure that Cas was just going to attack it, but apparently he knew enough about human behavior to use his fork. He stabbed the omelet with his fork and ripped out a chunk of ham dripping with cheese and egg coating and shoved it in his mouth.

"Mmm…" He closed his eyes and groaned, a sound that sent Dean's mind directly into the gutter.

"Good?" Sam asked, unaffected by Cas. The ex angel nodded, not pausing in his chewing. He swallowed and fanned his mouth a bit. "Hot?" Castiel nodded again. Sam handed him a glass of water, and Cas drink half of it in one gulp. The brothers watched as Castiel finished murdering his omelet, then continued the killing spree with toast and three more glasses of water. Dean debated giving him coffee, but decided that Cas shouldn't be given caffeine until he was at least a week old.

"That was good." Castiel said, after finishing his meal, leaning back to stretch his stomach. Sam stood up, and took out his wallet, preparing to leave.

"Wait a sec, Sammy." Dean said.

"What?"

"Cas needs to try one more thing before we go." Dean said, a mischievous grin on his face. Sam sat down and Dean gestured the waitress over. "What kind of pie do you have?"

"Pie for breakfast?" She asked him.

"Yep." He said, smirking at her.

"Blueberry, Apple, Cherry…" she listed. Castiel's mouth watered at the thought of food, despite the meal he just ate.

"Apple sounds good, three slices." The waitress walked away, smiling to herself.

"Pie?" Castiel asked. Dean nodded wisely, and Sam rolled his eyes. Cas was confused, until the waitress came back with three steaming plates of apple pie covered in whipped cream. Instead of tearing into it, Castiel looked at Dean questioningly.

"Like this," Dean said, slowly demonstrating how to get a forkful of pie without it falling off. Castiel watched, then tried it himself. He bit into the pie and chewed it slowly, almost thoughtfully.

"Well?" Sam asked, after he finished it.

"I like pie." Cas said, causing Dean and Sam to break into identical huge grins.

* * *

Castiel snoozed in the back of the Impala parked in front of a surplus store, sleeping off his giant breakfast. The brothers decided to leave him in his food coma while they found him clothes, going off of Dean, who was nearly his size.

"How cute." I voice said, rudely jerking him out of his sleep. Sitting in the passenger seat, with his feet in the driver's, was Uriel.

"Why are you here?" Castiel said, trying to muster up his angelic intimidation. Uriel chuckled.

"Just checking up on a friend." He said.

"We were never friends." Cas said, wishing his stupid human heart wasn't beating quite so fast.

"That's not nice." Uriel said, obviously enjoying his new ability to torment Castiel.

"What do you want?"

"Just making sure you're not getting too comfy down here with the blood bags. Can't have you enjoying your exile now, can we?" Uriel grinned. "I wanted you to remember, even though you are human, I'll be watching you all the time." He leaned in closer, breaking into Castiel's new personal bubble. "The second I get the order to, I'm going to enjoy smiting you." Uriel give him an almost demonic smile, and vanished in front of him.

Castiel had two main thoughts about that. One, fear was not his favorite emotion, and two, he finally understood how annoying that was.

* * *

Dean and Sam come back to the Impala, each carrying a bag of clothes that were guaranteed to stand up to "extra wear and tear," which sounded exactly like what Cas needed, now that he was tripping over his own feet. They walked up to the Impala quietly, seeing Cas sleeping through the back window. They climbed in as silently as possible into the front of the car. Dean noticed with worry that Castiel was twitching in his sleep, like he was having a nightmare.

Dean drove back to the motel, sneaking glances at Cas in the rearview mirror. The fallen angel was tossing around and frowning, and Dean felt the urge to wake him up.

"Watch the road!" Sam yelled, as another car swerved to avoid them. Dean snapped back to reality, and managed to get them the rest of the way back with out any more incidents. They pulled up in front of the motel and Sam, trying to be helpful, took the bags inside.

"Cas." Dean said, seeing if he could wake him up. Castiel didn't seem to notice. Dean sighed and turned towards him. "Cas!" He said again, louder. The fallen angel tried to turn away from his voice, but was stopped by the wall. Dean leaned forward and put a hand on his shoulder, prepared to shake him awake.

Castiel's eyes snapped open the second Dean touched him. For one heart-stopping moment they were staring each other in the eyes, their faces inches apart. Finally Cas blinked, allowing Dean to draw in a shaky breath.

"We should get inside." Dean said, leaving the car before Castiel could reply.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel tried desperately to remember how to breathe. This was possibly the worst, and best, emotion he had experienced in the hours that he had been human. He wasn't quite sure what it was at this point, but it only happened around Dean. Like just now. Getting himself together, Cas left the car, and followed Dean into the motel room. Sam was unpacking Castiel's new clothes. Dean sat on his bed and stared into space.

"Hey Cas," Sam said, ignoring the awkwardness between the other two men.

"Why do I need new clothes?" Castiel asked.

"Well, you can't keep wearing the same ones all the time, and you can't keep wearing our clothes." Sam explained.

"Why not? I like your clothes. They smell like you." Sam fell silent, and Dean looked over at him, one eyebrow raised. "Should I not have said that?"

"Uh…yeah." Dean said. "Lets just pretend that never happened." Castiel, blushing again, nodded.

"Cas, there's something I've been meaning to ask you." Sam said, changing the subject. "When Anna fell, she was born into a new body. So, how come you're still in this one?" Castiel felt oddly like his stomach was twisting up inside. He sat down on Sam's bed, farther from Dean than he normally would.

"When I took this form, the other soul was…pushed out."

"Pushed out?" Dean asked.

"I am-was an angel and my soul was much bigger than a human's. There wasn't enough room for both of us in this body, so my vessel's soul was removed." Dean frowned, Sam looked confused, and a little worried.

"Right, because you needed a body, some poor bastard got sent to hell?" Dean stared at him and Cas felt his intestines double up on themselves.

"No he didn't go to hell!" Cas yelled. If they would just stop looking at him like that, he would stop hurting so much!

"Dean…" Sam said, sensing something wrong.

"Where did he go then? Did he just disappear?" Castiel clutched at his stomach, doubled over in pain. He let out a strangled noise, trying to relive the pressure.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked rushing over to him.

"Please stop." Castiel said quietly, not sure who he was talking to; Dean, himself, or god. Dean stood and came over to him, the argument forgotten.

"Calm down Cas." Sam said soothingly. "Breathe." Castiel took a deep breath, and fell forward into Dean's arms. Dean held him there, too scared to let him go.

"I'm sorry." Castiel said, surprised and not surprised that tears were running down his cheeks.

"It's okay." Dean said. Immediately the pain lessened. After another few terrifying minutes, Dean let go of Castiel, who sat on the floor.

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked.

"I have no idea." Cas said, not really caring as long as it didn't happen again.

"I think," Sam said. "That was guilt." Dean cocked an eyebrow at him. Guilt? "Yeah, Cas what did it feel like?"

"Like my stomach was tying itself in knots."

"That sounds like guilt to me." Dean shook his head.

"Sam, when's the last time you ever saw someone nearly pass out because they felt guilty?" Sam got a look on his face that said he knew he was right.

"I haven't, but Cas has never felt anything like that before, so of course it would effect him worse then someone who felt it all the time." Dean, finding no flaw in his logic, muttered something under his breath and helped Castiel get back onto the bed. He half lifted him onto the thin motel bed, feeling oddly protective. Sam walked outside.

"He didn't go to hell." Cas said, wanting Dean to believe him. Dean said nothing. "He went to heaven. Please don't hate me." Dean sighed.

"I don't hate you." He said. "Now get some sleep." Castiel, exhausted from his episode, was happy to comply.

* * *

Dean walked outside, passing a hand over his mouth unconsciously. He walked over to Sam, who was on his cell phone.

"Yes, a real live human, and he just had a panic attack." He said, Dean guessed that he was talking to Bobby. "We could use your help." Sam paused, and some of the tension left his face. "Yeah, right outside of Phoenix. Thanks Bobby." Sam hung up and replaced the phone in his pocket.

"Bobby comin' out?" Dean asked, even though he knew the answer.

"Yeah, he'll be here by tomorrow." The brothers stared off for a second, not looking at each other, and definitely not looking at the motel. "This feels pretty damn permanent." Sam finally said.

"Yeah, it does." Dean replied.

* * *

"Having fun with your human emotions?" Uriel asked sleeping Castiel. Cas started for a second, but regained slight control over himself.

"I'm dreaming." He said, staring the angel down.

"Yes, sadly enough you are." Uriel said. "I can't visit you in person just yet, but that day is swiftly approaching."

"You can not hurt me here. You're in my mind." Uriel chuckled. Both of them knew that wasn't true.

"Castiel, how many people have been driven insane during dreams of us? Better yet, how many people have you tormented in dreams?" Castiel refused to answer, but still made Uriel's point.

"Leave." Cas said.

"You're not my superior any more." Uriel said, an insane glint in his eye. Castiel gulped, his human body yet again betraying his fear. Uriel chuckled again, a sinister sound.

* * *

Sam left on a food run, so they would be stocked up on beer and pizza when Bobby got there. Dean walked back inside, more than just glancing at sleeping Castiel. The fallen angel was having nightmares again, twitching in his sleep, his eyes rocketing back and forth under his lids. Dean put his face in his hands, wondering what he was going to do.

"Dean…" The older Winchester looked up when Cas muttered his name. Castiel was having a nightmare about him? Dean wasn't surprised, after all the yelling he had been doing. Pushing a soul out of their body was the worst thing Dean could imagine. He would've felt disgusted, hell, he did feel disgusted by it, until he remembered that it was Castiel. He sighed again, this was all getting too complicated. Dean's 'love them no matter what' response only applied to Sam. He thought.

When Cas asked if he hated him, Dean felt horrible that the ex angel could even consider that, not that Dean gave him any reason not to.

"Dean…leave Dean alone…" Castiel said again. Dean heard, and felt mixed relief and sadness, for reasons he couldn't quite understand. Knowing somehow that he shouldn't wake him up, Dean still walked over to Castiel. He rested his hand in the fallen angel's hair, then touched his cheek.

"I'm still here." Dean whispered, hoping that Cas could hear him in the dream.

* * *

"Leave me." Castiel said, feeling a rush of his old strength. No, not his angelic strength, but something just as strong and sure. Uriel felt it too.

"You think you can get rid of me that easily?" He asked, not showing any fear.

"GO!" Cas said, at the same time channeling that new power into expelling Uriel from his mind. The angel withstood it for a second, but then crumbled in a flash of light. Castiel, drained and happy for defending himself, fell into a real sleep, not touched by angels or demons.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean woke up in a bed, since it was Sam's turn on the floor. He did his first thing was his room check, just like every other morning. First, no demons-check. Second, Sammy-no check. Dean looked around, Sam did not appear to be anywhere around, all Dean could see was Castiel curled up in the other bed. Dean sighed and got up, fully prepared to go into Sam-search mode.

"Dean." Castiel said when he heard his feet hit the floor.

"You're awake?" Cas sat up and nodded. "Where's Sam?"

"Samuel left, I think he said something about food." Internally Dean cursed his brother for not just ordering room service. "He also said to tell you that this place doesn't have room service." Damn, Sam actually knew him well enough to predict his complaints. Creepy. Dean pulled his cell out of his pocket, getting ready to bitch out his little brother. "Wait." Cas said, blushing.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I, um, I want to talk to you."

"Shoot." Dean said, putting his phone back in his pocket. Castiel gulped, nervous.

"I fell for you." He blurted, too confused to come up with a better tactic.

"Huh?" Dean said, his mouth dropping open.

"It's just, I saw you kissing Anna, and you just looked so sad, but I'd never felt sadness, so I started talking to her and she told me everything, I guess and then I--" Dean cut off Cas' rambling speech.

"What? Wait, take a deep breath before you explain." Castiel paused and took in a deep breath, regaining some slight control.

"I think I'm in love with you."

"Okay then. That's normal." Dean said, his brain not entirely processing what his friend told him. Castiel gulped again. He took another deep breath, appeared to make a decision, then stood up. Castiel walked over to Dean, for a moment holding all his former angelic grace and confidence. He put his hands on both sides of immobilized Dean's face.

"I love you." He said, then took another deep breath before kissing him. Dean felt his eyes slide shut. He figured he should stop Cas, but he didn't quite seem able to. He placed his hands on Castiel's waist and pulled him closer. Nope, he definitely couldn't stop himself. Not that he wanted to at this point.

"Dean, you awa-" Dean felt a rush of outside air as Sam opened the door, bursting in on what may have been the best moment of his life. "Um…" His little brother said, blushing.

"Hiya Sammy…" Dean said, halfheartedly disentangling himself from Cas, who froze, his momentary courage forgotten.

"Is this a bad time?" Sam asked, looking back and forth between them.

"Kinda." Dean said.

"Bobby just called back." Sam continued, ignoring his brother. "He wants us to meet him somewhere." Dean looked from Castiel to Sam.

"Five more minutes?"

"No." Sam said. "Time to pack up."

* * *

Castiel stared out of the window, mesmerized by the moving road beneath them. He and the Winchesters were driving off, finally leaving the motel, and going to meet Bobby at a stronghold of his about half an hour away from the motel. They were nearly there. Dean gave Sam the silent treatment for the first ten minutes or so, but curiosity won out.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"Bobby told me to meet him at some old church."

"Gotcha. Why did we have to leave right away? It's not like it's going anywhere." Sam rolled his eyes and refused to answer. Castiel chuckled. They came into view of a field, an abandoned building standing in the center of it.

"This is the place." Sam said, Dean slowed the car and parked on the side of the road. They got out and started walking up to the church, Castiel trying to ignore the odd feeling in his gut. It felt like…something bad was about to happen. But what could happen outside, in broad daylight, in front of a church? He shivered.

"You okay, Cas?" Dean asked him.

"Yeah, fine." They trudged over to the building, over a flat surface that, to Castiel, felt uphill. Sam made it to the door first, and walked inside.

"Bobby?" He called. "Hello?" Dean followed his brother, with Cas right behind him.

"I have a bad feeling about this…" Castiel announced, to no one in particular.

"You and me both." Dean replied, reaching for the gun tucked into his belt. "Cas, I think you should go back to the car…"

"Leaving so soon?" A familiar, prissy voice asked. They whipped around to see the source. Alistair was blocking the exit.

"Get behind us." Sam said to Castiel, drawing his gun.

"You don't look happy to see me, and after coming all this way." Alistair said, holding a cell phone. Bobby's.

"What did you do to him?" Sam asked, noticing the phone.

"Your friend?" Alistair asked, as if he didn't know who Sam was talking about. "I paid him a visit on a dark night."

"Bastard." Dean said, pointing his pistol at the demon. Castiel stood next to the brothers, unsure of his human abilities, but not going to run from a fight. "Cas, get BEHIND ME!" Dean yelled at him, not taking his eyes off Alistair.

"No." Castiel said, trying to remember anything he could do that didn't require angelic abilities. Alistair chose that moment, when Dean was distracted, to attack. He held up his hand and stared at Sam, who fell to his knees, clutching his throat. Dean shot at Alistair, once, twice. The bullets had no apparent effect.

Just as sudden as he was there, he was gone again.

"Where'd he go?" Dean said. Sam picked himself off the floor.

Cas felt someone grab him from behind, one arm around him, pinning his arms to his sides, and one hand over his mouth.

"Over here." Alistair said, his breath rushing past Castiel's ear. The brothers turned, their guns aimed straight at the demon, until they noticed his shield.

"Let go of him." Dean said.

"Now, why would I do that? Not only is he an angel, but he's so pretty, don't you think?" Alistair said, leering at Dean. Cas could see that Dean was getting just angry enough to do something stupid, and tried to call out to him. Alistair's hand muzzled him, so he did the only thing he could think of. Cas bit the demon.

Surprised more than hurt, Alistair dropped him. The Winchesters shot at him, the blows on top of his shock, forced him back a few steps. Castiel coughed as the disgusting taste of sulfur filled his mouth. Sam kept shooting at Alistair, and Dean crouched down next to Cas.

"Go back to the car." He said, pulling Cas to his feet.

"I'm not leaving you."

"Don't be so stu-" Dean's words were cut off with a loud, fleshy sounding thump. His eyes clouded over and he slumped forward onto Castiel.

"DEAN!" Sam yelled, unable to process the last few seconds of the fight. They almost seemed to pass by in slow motion. Dean turned to Castiel, and broke a principle rule, never turn your back to a demon. Alistair, getting his second wind, reached into a pocket and pulled out a long, glittering, silvery knife. The handle of that knife was now growing out of Dean's back.

"DEAN!" He yelled again. Alistair smiled triumphantly.

"Now that is more pain then I could cause with a hundred knives." He said, content to sit back and watch the show.

"Dean?" Cas whispered, buckling under his weight. Dean didn't answer. Sam ran to them and took his brother out of Castiel's hands.

"Dean! C'mon, wake up!" Sam said, shaking him. He turned Dean face up, and saw that his eyes were still half open, holding all the expression of marbles.

"No…" Castiel said, tears forming in the corners of his vision. He looked up, what for he didn't know. Cas saw a bright, blue tinged light among the rafters.

"Close your eyes." He said to Sam. Sam didn't hear him, to caught up in his grief. "I said close your eyes!" Castiel yelled, grabbing Sam by his collar. It took him a moment to understand him, but Sam closed his tearstained eyes. Alistair, smiling to himself, heard Cas, and looked toward the ceiling.

"That sanctimonious prick! Interfering again!" He said, then vanished. The glow drifted to the ground, then slowly materialized into Uriel.

"Take Dean outside." Castiel told Sam, who obeyed as soon as the request got through to him. "I need to talk to Uriel."


	5. Chapter 5

Sam carried his brother's body outside, amazed that it was still sunny and warm. Without Dean it should be cold and raining. Unable to stand the sight of it anymore, Sam pulled the knife out of Dean's back. Nothing happened. Dean didn't yell, or tell him not to do that, or call him a bitch, or anything at all. Just lied there in Sam's arms. Dead.

* * *

Inside the church Castiel dropped to his knees with the combined weight of his sadness and pain. Uriel smirked, and Cas felt the urge to flip him off, because that's what Dean would've done.

"Nice to see you've learned your place in the world." Uriel said, as though Cas was bowing for him.

"What do you want?" Castiel asked, not in the mood to play games.

"You should be nicer to me, I've come to make a trade." Cas felt a flicker of hope.

"A trade? For what?" Uriel grinned, and Castiel's stomach sank.

"Your little meat bag, Dean Winchester."

"Please…" Castiel said, "Bring him back."

"Don't you even want to know what I want for him?"

"It doesn't matter." Castiel said, honestly. Uriel grinned again.

"Why don't you guess." So this was another game. Castiel sighed.

"You want to smite me." Uriel made a 'keep going' motion by nodding his head. "You want to destroy my body and burn my soul into oblivion, so I'm in neither heaven or hell, but nonexistent.

"Not quite, but I do love to hear you say it." Uriel said, the smugness back in his voice.

"You're sending me to hell?" Castiel asked, confused. Angels didn't get sent to hell. They knew too much.

"Try a little farther north." Uriel said, holding up a small blue vial on a silver chain.

Castiel's grace.

"No…" Uriel cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What was that? Did I find a price too high for even you to pay?" Castiel closed his eyes, weary. Being an angel was a horrible, emotionless experience, but he would do worse to see Dean alive and healthy again.

"I'll do it." He said, opening his eyes and treating Uriel to a direct stare.

"Just one more thing though." Uriel said, a malicious glint in his eye. "If I do bring him back to life, I'll have to make sure this doesn't happen again. We don't want anymore fallen angels, and all of them seem to have been with Dean Winchester at some point…"

"What are you getting at?" Castiel asked, afraid he already knew.

"After you become an angel, you can never again make contact with Dean." The implications spun through Castiel's mind. Never talk to Dean, or let Dean see him, or touch him in any way for the rest of his immortal life. The worst fate he could possibly imagine.

"I'll do it."

* * *

The doors of the church burst open, and Uriel stepped out.

"I'd walk away now, if I were you." He said, Sam looked around behind him, until he spotted Castiel.

"Cas…"

"Run, Sam." Castiel said. "Go back to the car, then get very far away from here."

"What about you?" Sam asked.

"I'll be fine." He looked down, "and tell Dean I'm sorry." Sam knew immediately what he meant, and almost told him not to. Almost. He needed his big brother back.

"Cas…I-" He started.

"GO!" Castiel said, looking worriedly up at the sky. Sam didn't need any further instructions. He picked Dean up and ran back to the car, hearing the doors of the church slam behind him. The sky, wich had been clear all day, clouded over. Fast. Sam felt like he was running in a nightmare, weighed down by his brother's body. He reached the car and threw Dean in the back seat, climbing into the front.

The car started, and Sam risked one last glance over to the church. A stormy cloudbank hovered over the steeple. Sam was momentarily blinded by a flash of lightning. When his vision came back, the church was in flames.

Dean drew in a gasping breath.

"Sammy? Why are you driving?" Sam turned around.

"Dean! You're okay!" Sam said, reverting to his five year old self.

"Why wouldn't I be okay, and where's Cas?" Dean said, wading through the confusion of being recently deceased. Sam didn't answer the last part, but looked meaningfully at the burning church. Dean followed his gaze. "Is he still in there?" Dean tried to pull himself out of the car, but Sam grabbed him by the waist.

"Let go of me, Sam! We have to save him!" He said, struggling to get out.

"No we don't." Sam said. Dean stopped struggling.

"Is he…" Dean trailed off, unable to say the word.

"Yeah." Dean fell back onto the seat of the car, speechless. Sam put the car in gear and drove away. Dean clutched at his arm, like it pained him. It took Sam a minute but he realized what Dean was doing. He was lining his hand up with the mark Cas left on him.

Epilogue---

Dean and Sam sat in a hospital room in South Dakota. Bobby had two broken ribs, a fractured wrist and a minor concussion, but still somehow was more worried about Dean then himself.

"I'm fine," Dean told Bobby for the fifth time in half an hour. He would've been almost convincing, except for the slightly emotionless tone his voice had taken on. Bobby looked at Sam, who discreetly shrugged.

"Okay, I believe you! Go get me something from the vending machine, will ya?" Dean nodded and headed out the door, leaving Sam and Bobby alone to talk about him.

"How's he really doin'?" Bobby asked.

"Not great." Sam replied. There wasn't much else to be said. They both knew that when he finally broke down and cried, he'd go back to normal-ish. Until then all they could do was wait until then, and hope to be at least a little supportive when the time came.

* * *

Dean walked back down towards Bobby's room with his vending-machine chips, going slow to give them enough time to finish their conversation. He knew the hallway was empty behind him, but he still heard that extra little footfall that wasn't his, but wasn't quite an echo. He could almost imagine a grumpy angel walking right behind him.

Dean stopped, and heard a soft step, that only a hunter would notice.

He might be going crazy. But he might not be.

"That you, Cas?" Dean asked the thin air. Nothing answered him, but he thought he heard a voice.

"I'm here."


End file.
